The Best Funny Family Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

Having fun as a family is an important part of building a strong family identity, and these quotes curated by the Readgrad review team will inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

Families are like fudge – mostly sweet, with a few nuts. – Les Dawson

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back. – Earl Wilson

The most important thing in the world is family and love. – John Wooden

Nothing is better than going home to family and eating good food and relaxing. – Irina Shayk

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. – Ogden Nash

The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions. – Robert Brault

To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there. – Barbara Bush

In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off. – Ralph Bus

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. – W.C. Fields

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom. – Bob Hope

The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it. – Erma Bombeck

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. – Buddy Hackett

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. – Sam Levenson

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. – Anthony Brandt

Being a family means you are a part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life. – Lisa Weed

Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee. – David Frost

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry. – Jerry Seinfeld

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. – George Carlin

One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family. – Jonathan Safran Foer

From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge. – Jarod Kintz

Family is just accident…They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are. – Marsha Norman

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns

For more great family content, check out Readgrad today.

Strong words from famous women to share with your family

Throughout history, women have been working hard to ensure that the female voice is heard. These quotes curated by the Readgrad review team demonstrate how women have gone the extra mile to gain equality and advocate for a better world.

“Technique and ability alone do not get you to the top; it is the willpower that is most important.” – Junko Tabei, first woman to reach the summit of Mount Everest

“Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure. You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively; unless you can choose a challenge instead of competence.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same as ‘making a life.’” – Maya Angelou

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act. The rest is merely tenacity.” – Amelia Earhart

“Success is only meaningful and enjoyable if it feels like your own.” – Michelle Obama

“Passion is the log that keeps the fire of purpose blazing.” – Oprah Winfrey

“I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life—and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.” – Georgia O’Keeffe, painter often recognized as the “Mother of American modernism”

“Aging is not “lost youth” but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” – Betty Friedan

“Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90. Time is a concept that humans created.” – Yoko Ono

“The next decade cannot be a decade of confrontation and contention. It cannot be East vs. West. It cannot be men vs. women. It cannot be Islam vs. Christianity. That is what the enemies of dialogue want.” – Benazir Bhutto

“The greatest danger to our future is apathy.” – Jane Goodall

“Every moment wasted looking back, keeps us from moving forward…In this world and the world of tomorrow, we must go forward together or not at all.” – Hillary Clinton

“Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow’s reality.” – Malala Yousafzai

For more great family content, head over to Readgrad today.

Quotes on the importance of family

Enjoy these beautiful quotes on the importance of family curated by the Readgrad review team.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. – Jane Howard

Family is not an important thing, it’s everything. – Michael J. Fox

The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family. – Lee Iacocca

The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst. – Marge Kennedy

Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life. –Albert Einstein

My family is my strength and my weakness. – Aishwarya Rai Bachchan

Family isn’t defined only by last names or by blood; it’s defined by commitment and by love.– Dave Willis

My friends and family are my support system. They tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear, and they are there for me in the good times and bad times.– Kelly Clarkson

Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what. – Unknown

There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human, are created, strengthened and maintained. – Winston Churchill

The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family. – Lee Iacocca

The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family. – Thomas Jefferson

Your children need your presence more than your presents. – Jesse Jackson

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream. – George W. Bush

Blood makes you related. Loyalty makes you family. – Unknown

Home should be an anchor, a port in a storm, a refuge, a happy place in which to dwell, a place where we are loved and where we can love. – Marvin J. Ashton

Families are the tie that reminds us of yesterday, provide strength and support today, and give us hope for tomorrow. No government, no matter how well-intentioned, or well-managed, can provide what our families provide. – Bill Owens

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. – Winnie The Pooh

I sustain myself with the love of family. – Maya Angelou

Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need. – Sarah Ban Breathnach

For more great family-focused content, check out Readgrad today.

Get the kids hooked on these books today

If you are looking for a great collection of books for your kids, why not choose a few from this list below curated by the Readgrad review team?

Does a Kangaroo Have a Mother, Too? by Eric Carle

Of course a kangaroo has a mother, too — just like you! Animal babies and their mothers are featured for you and your baby to name and match together. And the other thing about the kangaroo’s mother? She loves him just like your mother loves you!

Splat the Cat by Rob Scotton

It’s Splat’s first day of school and he’s worried. What if he doesn’t make any new friends? Just in case, Splat decides to bring along his pet mouse, Seymour, and hides him in his lunchbox. The teacher, Mrs. Wimpydimple, introduces Splat to the class and he soon starts learning all his important cat lessons. But when Seymour escapes and the cats do what cats do (they chase mice!), Splat’s worried again. Maybe now he’ll lose all his friends, old and new! Just in time, wise Mrs. Wimpydimple takes charge and teaches everyone an important new lesson. Maybe Cat School is going to be okay after all!

The Lion and the Mouse by Jerry Pinkney

In award-winning artist Jerry Pinkney’s wordless adaptation of one of Aesop’s most beloved fables, an unlikely pair learn that no act of kindness is ever wasted. After a ferocious lion spares a cowering mouse that he’d planned to eat, the mouse later comes to his rescue, freeing him from a poacher’s trap. With vivid depictions of the landscape of the African Serengeti and expressively-drawn characters, Pinkney makes this a truly special retelling, and his stunning pictures speak volumes.

For plenty more great kid-friendly books and content, check out Readgrad today.

Wonderful quotes from children’s books to share with your kids

Here is a wonderful list of quotes from children’s books that your children will be sure to enjoy, curated by the Readgrad review team.

Imagine

by Juan Felipe Herrera, illustrated by Lauren Castillo

“Imagine what you could do.”

(Ages 5 – 9)

Matilda

by Roald Dahl, illustrated by Sarah Walsh

“Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog.”

(Ages 6 – 9)

Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

by Dr. Seuss

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.”

(Ages 7+)

Pippi Longstocking

by Astrid Lindgren, illustrated by Ingrid Vang Nyman

“He’s the strongest man in the world.” “Man, yes,” said Pippi, “But I am the strongest girl in the world, remember that.”

(Ages 8 – 12)

Charlotte’s Web

by E.B. White

“‘Why did you do all this for me?’ he asked. ‘I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.’ ‘You have been my friend,’ replied Charlotte. ‘That in itself is a tremendous thing.’”

(Ages 8 – 12)

Peter Pan

by J.M. Barrie

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.”

(Ages 8 – 12)

For plenty more great family content, check out Readgrad and subscribe today.

Our Favorite Quotes from Children’s Books

Here we share with you some of our favorite quotes from children’s books, curated by the Readgrad review team.

“Jillian, Jillian, Jillian, Jiggs! It looks like your room has been lived in by pigs! Later. I promise. As soon as I’m through, I’ll clean up my room. I promise I do!”

Jillian Jiggs by Phoebe Gilman

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

The Lorax by Dr. Seuss

“Real isn’t how you are made, It’s a thing that happens to you.”

The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”

Love You Forever by Robert Munsch

“If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”

Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne

“You’re mad, bonkers, completely off your head. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”

Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

“A person’s a person No matter how small.”

Horton Hears a Who! by Dr. Seuss

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.”

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

For more great family-focused content, check out Readgrad with your children today.

Funny one-liners to share with your bestie

Find humour in these quotes curated by the Readgrad review team and, while you are at it, why not share them with your partner or best friedn, too?

“If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?” — Cynthia Heimel

“Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.” — Doug Larson

“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” — E. B. White

“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” — Alexander Woollcott

“A woman is like a teabag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

“I drink to make other people more interesting.” — Ernest Hemingway

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb

“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.” — George Carlin

“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.” — Harlan Ellison

“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” — Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.” — Dave Barry

“My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” — Jack Benny

“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.” — Ashleigh Brilliant

“They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.” — Clint Eastwood

“The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.” — Josh Billings

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin

“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” — Billy Wilder

“When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work.”

For plenty more family-centred content, check out Readgrad today.

Celebrate family with these special quotes

Celebrate family with these special quotes curated by the Readgrad review team.

“Friends are the family you choose.”― Jess C. Scott

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.” ― Anthony Brandt

“Stick to the basics, hold on to your family and friends – they will never go out of fashion.” – Niki Taylor

“My mother used to tell me that when push comes to shove, you always know who to turn to. That being a family isn’t a social construct but an instinct.” — Jodi Picoult

“I think togetherness is an important ingredient of family life.” — Barbara Bush

“The world, we’d discovered, doesn’t love you like your family loves you.” — Louis Zamperini

“My family is my life, and everything else comes second as far as what’s important to me.” – Michael Imperioli

“Home is people. Not a place. If you go back there after the people are gone, then all you can see is what is not there any more.”― Robin Hobb

“The family is the test of freedom; because the family is the only thing that the free man makes for himself and by himself.” – Gilbert K. Chesterton

“That sounds terrific, thought Cary, just you, your comatose wife your shell-shocked son, and your daughter who hates your guts. Not to mention that your two kids may be in love with each other. Yeah, that sounds like a perfect family reunion.” ― Cassandra Clare

“Home is where you are loved the most and act the worst.” ― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” – Stitch

“Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say.”― Rick Riordan

“The love of family and the admiration of friends are much more important than wealth and privilege.” — Charles Kuralt

“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues… are created, strengthened and maintained.” – Winston Churchill

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.” ― Shannon L. Alder

“You need a rock-solid foundation of friends and family to keep you where you need to be.” — Lilly Singh

“Some people are worth melting for.” – Olaf

“I sustain myself with the love of family.”― Maya Angelou

“Nothing purchased can come close to the renewed sense of gratitude for having family and friends.” – Courtland Milloy

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” — Leo Tolstoy

“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.” ― Jay McInerney

For plenty of beautiful reads on family, head to Readgrad today.

Family Quotes About Connection

Family and connectedness go together despite the twists and turns that accompany familial relationships. Here is our collection of funny and sweet sayings on family curated by the Readgrad review team.

• A hug from family lasts a lifetime.

• Whoever said, “Love ’em then leave ’em” wasn’t talking about family.

• Life begins with family and ends with family.

• A mother’s love never wanes.

• You can’t control what your family says, but you can control how much you listen and how you react to it.

• The love of family is like no other.

• A family who disagrees, cares.

• You inherited a piece of everyone in your family. If you insult them, you insult yourself.

• Family gives you the roots to stand tall and strong.

• Tears flow from the eyes of loved ones the day you’re born, and the day you pass.

• In a family, the sadness of one is the sadness of all.

• Family love is never broken.

• It only takes two to make a family.

• All families are different and unique, but they all have one thing in common- love.

• Families should celebrate each member’s unique identity.

• No matter how big or small the family, what matters most is love.

• A family is a group of people who love unconditionally.

• Through ups and downs, a family will stand by each other.

• A family creates a safe space for each member to grow and develop into the person they were meant to be.

• There is no more powerful love than one a parent feels for their child.

• A family is who you choose to be by your side and love unconditionally.

• Families shape who we are and who we choose to become.

• It’s hard to put into words just how much love a parent feels for their child.

• No matter what a family looks like, it is always filled with love.

For plenty more great family reads and content, check out Readgrad.

Cute Family Quotes and Sayings

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.” Here is our collection of funny and sweet sayings on family curated by the Readgrad review team.

• Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.

• The bigger your family, the bigger your problems.

• Family is like that annoying itch you can’t scratch.

• Caller ID was invented for family screening.

• Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member does or says.

• Once a mother, always a mother.

• Family knows your flaws but loves you, anyway.

• Love your family as you love yourself.

• Family makes you who you are and who you aren’t.

• God wouldn’t have given you a family if He didn’t think you needed it.

• Where there is family, there is love.

• Family is the heart of a home.

• Love starts with family.

• A family takes care of their own.

• The strength of family isn’t determined by the number of members, but rather by the amount of love given and received.

• Family is forever.

• There is no love greater than the love shared within a family.

• Your family will always hold your heart.

• Family is there to support you and honor your decisions.

• No matter what happens, a family will always have your back.

• A family is the purest form of love and acceptance.

• No one knows you better than your family does.

• Love, honesty, and connection are cultivated in a family.

• The bond between a parent and child is unbreakable.

• A family that supports one another thrives.

• Connections within a family are powerful forces of nature.

For plenty more great family reads and content, check out Readgrad.